Always Learning

I went to a voice lesson today. Yes, I am taking regular voice lessons again and it feels great. It's funny to be back in my students' shoes, and almost intimidating that I always feel like I have too much more to learn. The feeling never goes away. It also worries me that I haven't really performed in so long (not counting my emergency Fantasticks performance which only somewhat counts). I've been so focused on learning to direct (a skill that has come a long way) and teach that performing has gone by the wayside. I am okay with that. Until I get on stage and feel the pressure and wonder if I can do what I ask my students to do better than they can? And then I ask myself, does it really matter? Because my job is primarily to pull it out of them. I need to perform. I just don't have the time . . . or the motivation.