Being a Parent

I think it is ironic how many dreams I have had lately about being a parent. Part of me thinks maybe it is because of my nephew who will be born in April. But, most recently I have been thinking that maybe it is because I often feel like a parent working at college. While I recognize, that my college experiences cannot compare to getting up all night with a child, being around them for 18 years, and having them depend on you for their every need, I am amused (is that the right word), by just how much parenting I end up doing.

For instance, college students are perhaps the best group of people in existence for making excuses. They live to break rules, find the hole and come up with an excuse for why it isn't done. Which is ironic, because they are supposed to be here studying because they want to be. But, of course, at this point in time, college has become about so much more than studying. It is about partying, finding yourself, new found freedom, and many students have to work jobs on top of their already full schedule.

And so, my syllabus get longer every semester as I put another clause in that states the consequence of another excuse. And, students play teachers against each other. They don't realize, that like their parents, we talk to each other. So, when one of us gives them an answer they don't like, and they go to the other to get a "better" answer, we will find out about it, and they will be in trouble. Lol - I remember doing that directly to my parents once and I got in so much trouble, I don't think I ever did it again. After that, I thought very carefully, measured out my parents' moods and decided which one I thought I had the best shot at getting things my way with BEFORE I went and asked any questions.

Finally, the counseling aspect. In the last two weeks alone, I have had one student find out he has HIV, and another student who had an abortion. Both traumatically effected and not sure how to cope with the emotions. And, they usually end up in your office crying and crying (well, not the men; the men just disappear for days at a time, and then they come and tell you why they disappeared). And then there are the students who cheat, who also end up in your office crying and angry at you for "punishing them." The students who are bipolar and don't know how to deal and feel to ashamed to go get counseling. The students who are so homesick they don't know what to do. The students who are about to graduate and don't know what they will do with their lives and are freaking out. The students who are trying to figure out how to financially finish college. The students who are on academic probation and don't know how to improve their study habits. The students who want to do well, but just keep getting in trouble. The students whose parents are dying/dead. In less then 2 years of teaching, I have had all of those students in my office behind a shut door, asking me for guidance, for hope, for mercy, for help. I leave work, and I think about them. I go and socialize with my colleagues and we talk about them for hours and ponder what we can do to help them. And, at night I dream about them . . .

If that is not a glimpse into parenthood, then I don't know what is.