To ski or not to ski . . .

So, two weeks from today I go back to Rhode Island. And so I am caught in the middle of two worlds like I always feel. I do not really feel like going back to Rhode Island. But, of course, vacations need to come to an end, and I am beginning to get restless (and time feels on one hand like it is going sooo slow - and on one hand like it is much to soon for everything to be over). I feel so sad to leave everyone here. But, then I am reminded that I called my best friend the night before I came back here and asked her, "is it bad that I am sort of sad to come home and leave my life here for six weeks?" To which she responded, "not at all - it's probably a good thing." So, I am summing everything up to something my oldest friend, Laura, told me years ago. When you are sad to leave a place you always know you are in the right place and have spent your time being where you should have been.

To totally switch gears, I don't think I really like skiing anymore. And I'm not sure it is because I tore my ACL. And, this is a hard confession to make because I grew up skiing and I really loved it. Six years after I tore my ACL (this month), I only ski once, maybe twice a year, and don't really enjoy it. Too bad right before I tore my ACL I had just been given brand new boots, skis and bindings for my birthday. Which leads me to this: I have been thinking for five years that my boots were too small and this was the cause of major discomfort to me the last five years that I have skiied one day on the slope. Within five minutes of putting my boots on, my toes are cold (even if it is a warm spring day), my shins feel bruised when I am done skiing, and my toes feel cramped (though I've been telling myself they are supposed to). So, today I went and bought new ski boots and new snow pants (I won't even go into the snow pants). They are 1.5 sizes larger. I walked aroiund the store in them for half an hour, and I am hoping that maybe these boots are the reason I no longer love a sport I once loved. The ACL has made me a little more anxious, yes. And kept me on easier terrain. But, lots and lots of people I know tear their ACL and sitll love to ski. So, this is it. I am giving skiing in brand new boots one more chance next week. If I go and I do not have a lot fun, then I think I may not ski anymore. We'll see.

I feel like I had so many other things to post today, but they have all slipped my mind . . .